HollaDaddy.com

Identity used for this conversation:

“HollaDaddy”

Victim’s name:
*I’m Th@ BoSs, BiTcH…MuAh!*

Photo:

Message she sent me:
Heyyy sexyyy whats uppppnice

My response:
Sup queue tea. What’s poppin? ur fine as helll

Her:
:) thank you, you sexy too tee hee… not much here just chillen

Me:
nicenice gurl.. so wut a bootiful thing like u lyke 2 do for funn?

Her:
I like to hang out, smoke… i drink sometimes, theres not a whole lot to do at this shit whole but i deal ya kno…

Me:
sounds fly gurl. so a fine thing like u gotta man?

Her:
na I got no man…

Me:
awww why not? a beautiful thing like u? Its a shame nobody is dere to treat u rite and smell ur hair n shyt.

Her:
Oh well, Im good without em… I dont really needa man

Me:
You just need dat speshul sum1 to treat u rite gurl. trust da holladaddy.
so u ends up doin n e thing fun last night or was u jus chillin?

Her:
well i was chillen n havin a pretty good day till i got on tha bus to go home n we got in a fuckin car/bus accident, i had to like go to the hospital n shit, nuthin to serious but it was maddddd intese!!! after leavin the hospital i went home n smoke a fat ass L :)… that was my day N nite, how was yours lol

Me:
Daaaaaaaayum. How did the axadent happens? dats fukked up rite dere. Smokin a fatass blumbachumba sounds good wit me do lolz.

Her:
The other car jus went through the red light n we smashed head on into it, n i was squished by my two friends into a medal bar n almost gotta concussion

Me:
dayyuuum gurl. I’m glad u’s alrite. I bet as soon as it happened u was like “sheeeeeet now i needs to get mahself home and smoke me a phat spliffdog. rite?

Holla

Her:
LOl word! thats exactly what i said lol… i was scared as fuck! i went to the hospital they gave me some pretty dope drugs lol then on top of that smoked maddddd dutches lol… but im feelin better now

Me:
LOLZ man.. dutches is sooooo good. u should try herron sumtime gurl. shit’s mad spung.

Holla

Her:
Herron? na i dont thin id do shit like that, thats bad shit lol… you do that

Me:
Only occashunally. nuthin beats a good puff off da sillyweed, am i rite? shits chill, shawday.

we shuld hook up n smoke a bowl sumtime.

Her:
yea i guess ur right… we should deff blaze sometime, thatd be cool

Me:
yeah. blaze sum chazomboweedz.

Her:
neva heard of that but im down lol… i am sooo sun burn i wanna fall over im hurtin so baad :(

Me:
chazomboweedz is the same as smooplegreenz.

And why u sun burnned, u go 2 da beach 2day? or did u jus pass out in da sun after doin sum herron ;)

Her:
yea thats it lol, na i layed out on monday for a long ass time n it was like 88 degrees, i burned badddd haha i havent been able to wear nething lol

Me:
mmmm sexxy gurl.. u shuld sho me sum time ;)

Her:
Haha…. hmmm i dont kno bout that

Me:
hah Im jus playin, gurl. You’s a beautiful thing.

Her:
:-} Thank you, your mad sexy urself lol…. ima real cool chick too, im mad cool lol

Me:
I know you are, mami.

Her:
Word

Me:
So… you ever kill a stray dog with a ball peen hammer just for the sexual thrill?

Her:
What! no lol but i culd kill someone for sexual feeling :) lol

Me:
Please explain, maam.

Her:
There a lot of people i fuckin hate thats why i gotta get the fuck outta cali! but im kiddin i aint gunna kill neone… yet ;-D

Me:
haha you had me goin there for a minute, nudes?

Her:
Lol did i scare ya… what you mean nudes

Me:
nakeds.

Her:
Na im sorry b, I dont do that…

Me:
ahhh it’s alrite gurl. youll warm up 2 me ;) u sexxi thing u

Her:
LoL oh yea… mayb one day ill warm up too you tee hee :)

Me:
Do you have any housepets?

Her:
Yea i have three dogs but im never really there… so when you comin to cali lol

Me:
mmmmm tell me more about ur dogs.

No response.

Me:
Did you get the check I sent you?

Her:
What check B n what you mean by check, n you sent it through what?

Me:
Can’t you see I want to have sex wtih your dogs?

Her:
What the fuck is wrong with you, goodbye

Me:
I just like dogs, just because you’re a heartless bitch who treats animals unfairly doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with me. You should be ashamed.

Her:
If i was a heartless Bitch why would i have dogs, i love dogs, your jus weird n yea…. n i dont even think ur real ur prolly a chick pretending to be a sexii man but reality ur probably a fuckin loser or a whore n have nuthing better to do wit ur time…. you obviously dont kno me i’ll kick ur fuckin ass so yea, dont write to me weirdo go fuck some more dogs freak! hahaha peace.

Her:
But dayuuuuum i wish you was real cause ur sexii as hell! lol… im really not a heartless bitch man, i love dawgs

Me:
No, I’m really a dude. And I could totally wreck you if I wanted to. I’d turn your lumpy face even lumpier. I’d hit you so hard I’d cum twice.

Her:
You aint gunna wreck nobody, your stupid fuck outta here

Me:
“Smoke maddddd dutches” with me or I’m going to turn your face into a bag of apples.

Her:
Do you kno how stupid you sound, omg… jus stop… peace man.

Me:
I wanna get up in ya ass so bad. srsly mami.

Her:
sorry, mayb if ya werent so dayuuuuuum mean dawg, why you be actin like that for? im not mean im jus real as hell n you be all me n joint what for, mean people dont get far in life, you’ll learn to understand that too, so you shouldnt be so mean to people, ima really good person man

Me:
I was only mean because of what Bryan said you were saying about me.

Her:
Whattttt whos bryan n what did he say i said aboutchu,

Me:
Bryan said that you said I couldn’t read or write since I got shot in the head by those gangbangers.

Her:
Ummm what, i dont even kno you i wuldnt fuckin kno about that shiit n i dont kno a bryan but whatever ya’ll trippiin

Me:
So would you want to meet up sometime and make out? I have a milkcrate full of mousetraps and a fireman’s helmet filled with poptarts. I’m thinking it’s time to play poptrap. You in? Just make sure you’re wearing a baseball uniform.

Her:
Huh ur a funny little character… ur alittle on the strange side i think i have to go now… dont forget to have a great day…

Me:
Will do, fatso.

Her:
Gud one you dumb fake ass… fuckin faggot… fuck you man.

Me:
I want my jacket back.

Me:
I’m calling the police.

Her:
I am the police bitch. now stop talking to me foreals this shits annoying. grow up

She doesn’t seem capable of figuring out that NOT replying is an effective way to stop the conversation.

Me:
NO. You stop talking to ME, fatso smelly belly.

Her:
You madd wack B liike really get over urself ur so imature n annoying. you shuld jus kiill yourself for reals. your words dont mean a thiing iif nethiing they turn me on when you tryyn make me feel bad hahahaha! so fuck you getta life loser

Me:
I know you are, but what am I?