HollaDaddy.com

Well well well… I suppose I should update soon. I haven’t quite had the free time I’d like so that I may indulge in lovely conversations with society’s best. But never fear. I just started working on some new stuff so that I can ensure my ticket to hell is waiting for me when I get shot up by gangbangers. Hopefully work and music don’t interfere too much.

I should also add that a hipster dude profile was made, but maaaaaaan was it boring. The ratio of using made up black guy phrases like Hizzmoffletron Chubbs to hard work needed to keep active bait on the line was too low, so I put that on hold. I’ve created a hipster broad profile in the meantime. Things seem to be going A LOT better on that front. Expect some material between myself and dudes with Hitler haircuts who wear women’s jeans and white belts soon. Oh yeah, more funny talk with chocolate people too. …if I feel like it.

<3 MSD

Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
Feature Photography

Photo:

Message he sent me:
hey im in LOS ANGELES with shoots starting as low as $100 AND YOU GET THE PIX BACK THE SAME DAY contact me if you are interested…

xxx-xxx-xxxx … YOU SHOULD ALSO LEAVE YOUR CONTACT

My response:
Do you do nudes as well?

Him:
i do it all when are you thinking about

Me:
Sometime in July would be nice. I’m looking for some nude/xxx stuff for my portfolio actually.

Him:
well whats your contact

Me:
Do you also know anybody that would be available to do the shoot with me? Just simple blowjob / facial stuff. MAYBE some vaginal penetration. I haven’t decided yet. Do you know anyone? Would you be interested? I’m really looking to get my portfolio going.
-Lakendra Robinson

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Identity used for this conversation:

“HollaDaddy”

Victim’s name:
*I’m Th@ BoSs, BiTcH…MuAh!*

Photo:

Message she sent me:
Heyyy sexyyy whats uppppnice

My response:
Sup queue tea. What’s poppin? ur fine as helll

Her:
:) thank you, you sexy too tee hee… not much here just chillen

Me:
nicenice gurl.. so wut a bootiful thing like u lyke 2 do for funn?

Her:
I like to hang out, smoke… i drink sometimes, theres not a whole lot to do at this shit whole but i deal ya kno…

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Identity used for this conversation:

“HollaDaddy”

Victim’s name:
Bling Hustlaz

Photo:

This fine up and coming urban musical group added me as a friend to their Myspace account

My message to them:
I’ll hit you up with a tire iron if yo all step ass into compton

punkass goof bees.

Their response:
you’re so tough

learn to spell

Me:
We should have an over-myspace spelling bee. OK. Spell glockenspiel.

Them:
OK. S-U-C-K-M-Y-D-I-C-K-B-I-T-C-H

Do I win?

Me:
You dumb face. There’s no H in glockenspiel.

Identity used for this conversation:

“HollaDaddy”

Victim’s name:
$ Mz.Independent$

Photo:

My message to her:
sup truckbanans?

Her response:
sup papi lol nuthin jus travlin on the road still

Me:
oh yea? where u travelin 2? whoretown?

Her:
yes lol… no jus georgia n why did you ask whoretown lol

Me:
ahh no reason. I have some ex girlfriends that live there.

So wuts tha big attraction in georgia, mamicakes?

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Identity used for this conversation:

“HollaDaddy”

Victim’s name:
A True Bad Bitch

Photo:

My message to her:
Well hello there. How are you this evening, fine bitch?

Her response:
watz gud

Me:
I haven’t a clue. A cross between gum and mud? You’re a sick fucking bastard.

Her:
IM NOT KNW BASTARD HOMIE

Me:
I want to smother you with gud and make passionate love to you.

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Identity used for this conversation:

“HollaDaddy”

Victim’s name:
pRiNcEsS TaMmy bOo

Photo:

Bulletin she sent to her friends:
i cant believe that i graduated a year ago. time has flown by. things are so different from the way they used to be. a year ago i was just a kid so happy to be done with high school. now im an adult trying to make my way in this world. thinkin about graduation and grad night gives me chills. to my grads..make it the best. u only do it once. congrats 09! special congrats to trevor an sasha. love you guys.

My response:
SPURGLEBOOZERS.

Her:
spurgleboozers?

Me:
Yup. How many do you want?

Her:
ummm..17.

Me:
Oooooooooooooooooooo.. you dirty dirty girl.

Her:
hahaha. i dont even know what spurlgeboozrs are.

Me:
It’s when I take a dump in your hair and then smash your face in with a Golden Girls DVD box set until I achieve orgasm. I just placed the order for season 1 on Amazon.com. Where do you want to meet up to make this happen?

No response.

Me:
Should I go ahead and order Season 2? They’re offering free shipping today.

Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
Shandrel

Photo:

My message to him:
Tazsmazzles! You wanna go out for a drink some time maybe? We should hit up a club sometime and get to know each other.

His response:
LET ME KNOW WHEN…!

Me:
Never, homopants! lolololololol!

Him:
CUZZ,U GOT ME FUCC’D UP CRIP WHO THA FUCC R YOU,ANY WAY CUZZ.??
AND WHY U GOT THA HOOD ON YOUR PAGE…

Me:
I think you just showed me the keyboard equivalent to stuttering. Try again. This time make sure people can understand what the fuck you’re trying to say, honor roll.

Him:
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.DID YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!!I SEE YOU PUTTING THA HOOD IN THA AIR,BUT U AIN’T SAYINY SHIT!!!!

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Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
victor

Photo:

Message he sent me:
hi miss, whats up cute lady, let me introduce myself to you, my name is victor, im 25, let me just say you are cute and very Attracvie as a lady and im Interested in you and would like to talk to you, please send me a message, bye for now.

My response:
hi there creepo, what do you like to do for fun?

Him:
hi, whats up, thats cool you want to talk to me and what i like to do for fun is, i like to go fun places like disney land, sea world, la auto car show, go to a laker game, shop. draw art, listen to music, watch tv shows like bad girls club, i like history, its a lot more i like to do for fun, so what fun places do you like going to, im asking you so if we were on a date i wont be guessing, because i would want you to have fun too, please send me a message, bye for now.

Me:
mmmmmmmmmmmm Disneyland makes me sooooooo wet

Him:
hi, whats up, so you said disneyland makes you so wet, that you love it, one day i will have my dad get tickets so me and you can go, but i just want to tell you this and it been on my mind last night, that i dream of one day me and what ever lady im with, which i hope it be you, that we go to paris and set on the paris tower and i hold that lady tight so she wont fall and we look at the bright water and see the whole city of paris and then go to out of space and see all the stars and planets, and then walk on the moon, if thats with you, would you like that, its a real dream, please send me a message, bye for now.

Me:
Oh baby that’s so sweeet. I would love to be that gurl for u.

Lakendra.

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Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
How can u be soft in a world made of stone?

Photo:

My message to him:
nicca, i wanna get wit chu.

His response:
fo sho, give me 5 good reasons y along with ur name and number…

Me:
Mah name’s Lakenda. And here’s the 5: pussy, ass, tits, mouth, fists.
So wut u lyke 2 do for fun, cockbreath?

Him:
naw, turn bitches like u out and make my money, so drop ur digits and we’ld push that line…

Me:
You make my cock so hard.

Him:
lol lmao lol, so ur one of those dudes that be fiening of being something close to a woman? lol

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